Four meals and a glass of milk
Preface
Four meals and a glass of milk is a piece of Player Created Fiction written by Herko Kerghans as one tale out of his series on Ships, Pods and Clones. Originally published in the EVE-online forums [1].
Four meals and a glass of milk
They give us
a little push
in the right direction
… beating the Hyasyoda Hawks by 46-23. By contrast, the Lonetrek championship…
-Morning mom! Dad!
-Morning Haikko… your sister’s up yet?
-I dunno mom! What’s for breakfast? Oh, not AGAIN!
-Shut up and sit straight, Haki. And don’t stand up until the plate is empty.
-Yeah mom…
-Got stalaandi today Haki?
-Yes! Master said that I’m doing great progress!
-Oh, did he?
-Yes love, he told me himself when I was picking Haki up last week. “Good progress…” he said.
-Amazing… Congratulations son! From a master that’s quite a compliment!
-Yeah! I’ll get to be a pod pilot someday!
-Of course you will son, but first you gotta finish your plate.
-Hi mom! Hi dad! Mom, did you see my blue shirt?
-Hi Shiomi… not cleaned yet…
-Mom!?!?? I told you I need it for today!?
-Hee hee hee…
-What’s wrong with the white one? Or one of the red ones?
-I need the blue one mom! I told you!
-Hee hee hee…
-Shut up you little brat!
-Now, Shiomi! Don’t yell to your brother! And you Haikko, don’t laugh at your sister and finish your breakfast! Now, Shiomi, dear, what’s so important about the blue shirt?
-Hee hee hee… Big sister has classes with the exchange students today…
-And what does… oh, I see. Etien.
-Hee hee hee! Shiomi likes intakis, Shiomi likes intakis…
-Whyyoudirtpieceoffedosh…
-Now, everybody please calm down! Haki, breakfast! Shiomi, don’t call your brother names! Umi, love, could somebody please tell me what's going on here?
-Well, seems there’s this intaki exchange student…
-Paaka? Rinteras? You guys decided yet?
-Yeah… Delicacies for both.
-Hum…. I’ll take that too… You guys?
-Ok, make it four. Waras?
-Humm… well, what the heck, five.
-Five Delicacies, please…
-Sure thing sir.
-Wheeezzz… tough morning eh?
-You bet… and afternoon’s gonna be worse.
-Yeah… damn that Ishukone bastards… how could they outbid us?
-They haven’t yet…
-Yes… but the information is 87,4% reliable… we should consider that a fact…
-Oh, damn it, I just hate it when it's between 80 and 90%! Less than 80% is not a sure thing and you plan for it… more than 90% is as sure as anything can be in this world… but between 80 and 90%...
-What do we do then?
-I don’t know… if we lower our bid by 10.6% we should win the deal… but that’s almost no profit margin… and if the information is wrong and then Ishukone turns up to be over our original estimation we are going to be in deep trouble explaining the bosses why we made such a discount…
-Can’t you just quote the 87,4% reliance on your memo and get covered?
-Can’t. Hired the informer from outside the company, to avoid traces… that cuts both ways I’m afraid, I can’t put him in any memo, officially he doesn’t exist…
-Well… I don’t know…
-Let’s get back to this after lunch shall we?
-Yeah…
-Hey guys… I have this issue at home and I was wondering if I could share it with you…
-Sure! Shoot!
-Well… You know Shiomi, my daughter… they have some exchange students…
-Shiomi, exchange students? But if she is... what 13? 14?
-17, Waras!
-Ho-ly… little Shii is 17 already?
-Yep! Anyway, there is one intaki boy, Etien or something…
-Weak and with crazy hair I’m sure…
-Ha! Invite him for a drink Andan! A round of hak’len to his health!
-C’mon! I’m serious! In fact that’s more or less the point… I didn’t think it was much of a problem, but Umi, she seems to think it’s a big deal…
-Deteis women think too much.
-Well, you are correct, very perceptive of you, and we deteis men happen to like them that way, and I happen to like Umi the way she is. What’s the problem?
-Easy Andan… Paaka has a point there.
-That point being?
-How long have we known each other Andan?
-Since school, Paaka, and you know it.
-How did I got through philosophy I and II? And Raata Lit I?
-Because I crammed all those in your thick civire skull for a month or so before the exams. The stuff almost made you puke. Heck, you actually did once!
-Exactly. And how did you get around Basic Spaceship Command?
-Well…
-Exactly again. Because my thick civire skull hauled your soft deteis ass around the training sim for I can’t remember how low. Heck, took you ages to learn the simplest move!
-And your point Paaka?
-I only know three or four intakis… but they all like philosophy, poetry, that kind of stuff. And I’ve heard the best gallente poets are intaki… not that I would know how to tell a poet from a poodle, mind you… anyway, I remember Shiomi likes that kind of things, right?
-Yeah…
-As I said… deteis women think too much!
-He he… Alright… I kindda see your point…
-Listen Andan… you are a good father. You know it. Right boys?
-Yeah!
-Yeah.
-Well… trust yourself Andan. You did a good job with your Shiomi. Still gotta keep an eye on her, sure, but let her fly a little.
-Hum… got yourself a point there Paaka… I’m sure glad I got your thick civire head out of school after all…
-Ha! You bet!
-Now, you guys saw the Lai Dai Raptors kicking Hyasyoda Hawks’ ass at yesterday’s match?
-Wow! One bloody night it was! I couldn’t believe when…
-...and one hak’len each, right?
-You bet!
-Ok! Bartender… the fried kokkailens and 3 hak’lens, please…
-Of course Ms.
-Alright! Wheezz! Been a long day!
-Sure glad it’s over…
-Yeah… Tuesdays are killers!
-You bet. Damn Kaalakiota and their price war! Anyway… enough for today!
-Hey, girls, can I ask…
-Ohhh noooo…
-Here it comes…
-Again…
-What do you mean Tatta?
-You know what I mean Umi… the intaki boy… AGAIN…
-Well… yeah! I’m a mother, and I get worried… I just want the best for my little Shii, it’s natural…
-Little Shii who happens to have 17.
-And?
-Umi…
-What!
-Ok… If I tell you three things that will make you feel better, do you swear not to get angry at me?
-What!?
-If I tell you three things that will make you feel better, do you swear not to get angry at me.
-What!!!???
-Something happened to that bright deteis brain of yours? You deaf? If I tell you three things that will make you feel better, do you swear not to get angry at me, yes or no!
-Ok Tatta! Ok!
-Swear?
-Swear.
-Remember school? When we were 17?
-Yeah…
-Remember our exchange program…
-Yeah…
-Remember we had a couple of intakis? Remember one Ulises?
-Yeah… maybe…
-Ok c’mon Umi, remember him or not? Help me here Kuha!
-He he he… easy Tatta… I’m sure Umi remembers quite well… Cute Ulises, his eyes always lost like he was dreaming a poem?
-Ok, ok, I remember…
-And you had a crush on him?
-Hey, that’s not true! Maybe once I said…
-Once!!??? One thousand times and I’m running short!
-Well, ok! What’s the point? If I had a crush, what? Nothing happened! It kind of proves my po…
-I did.
-Did what?
-Dated him…
-What!?
-…and slept with him…
-Tatta!!???
-…for around three weeks… more or less.
-You… what… Kuha, you knew this!!??
-Yeah…
-And all this years… why didn’t… what…?
-Easy Umi… no big deal! What I wanted to say
-NO BIG DEAL!!!????
-Hey! Calm down! You swore not to get angry, ok? And it was ages ago!
-You little…
-Hey Umi… calm down! Years ago, no big deal!
-Sheessshh… ok, ok! What does it has to do with my Shiomi? And how could this possibly make me feel any better?
-Three things I wanted to tell you. Now buckle up. One: he was great.
-Oh, Tatta! Why the…
-Shut up and listen. He was great. Sweetest boy I ever met. Ever. If this intaki boy that Shiomi is after is HALF as sweet, then she should go for it.
-Bu-
-Shut up! Two, wanna know why you didn’t get him and I did? Simple: that brilliant deteis head of yours thinks too much. Period. Thinking is good for math. For some things, better less thinking and more action.
-Wwheeezzz…
-Ain’t finished! Three, you know why we only lasted three weeks Ulises and I, he being so sweet and all? I’ll tell you: because we were... different. Nothing specifically, just different. It was like whenever we took a walk at night, he would be watching the stars and I would be watching our step. The phrase sounds familiar?
-Yeah… just the opposite…
-Right. Just the opposite of what you said didn’t work between you and Morimo, that big-boned, masculine, down-to-earth civire boy you snatched from right under my nose at University.
-Oh, c’mon Tatta! Ha haa!! That was ages ago! And we dated for… what, a month?
-Well… like me and Ulises, right??
-Oh… you… Filthy little… Ha ha!
-See? Perhaps, romantically, deteis have more in common with intakis than civire…
-Oh, well… I don’t know… maybe you are right… I just think…
-Think? THINK?? Theeeeeere you go again!! HEY, BARTENDER!! Bring us the hak’len, and leave the bottle!! My deteis best friend over here needs something that makes her think LESS!!
-Oh.. well, what the heck!!
-Alright! Here you go… Haak-kin k’len!
-Haak-kin k’len!
-Now, Kuhata, did you hear about…
-Hey dad… can I talk to you?
-Sure Shiomi… what’s on your mind?
-Hum… I need to talk to you about something… but you have to promise not to tell mom… she gets mad with this…
-Of course Shii… discretion above all things. Tell me.
-Well… you see… it’s that… ahem…. Y-you know this b-boy, right? Etien? The Int-t-taki? Well, it’s that he… oh, w-well, he inv-invited me…?
-Oh... did he...
-A-and, eehh…
-What are the rules Shiomi?
-Wh-what?
-The rules. For going out on dates. What are the rules?
-B-but wha…
-The rules Shiomi.
-O-one, back home before 1 am?
-Proceed…
-Two, no more than 0,1 cm3 of alcohol per 100 mililiters…
-And…?
-Diiiineeeeeeerrr!
-In a minute love! And…?
-Three, if I ever touch drugs or boosters it’s insta-warp to military school.
-And…?
-That’s it dad… those are the rules!
-Aha…
-…???
-…
-…!!!!!
-He he…
-Oh dad… you are the best!
-He he… yep seems you got yourself a loophole here… mom and dad forgot to add "caldari boys only" to the fine print…
-YOU ARE THE BEST!!!
-Now… for this time only… we are adding a fourth rule…
-But dad…!??
-Not a word to your mom for a couple of days, or we are both in deep trouble, fine print or not!
-Dinner NOW OR NEVER!
-Going my love! C’mon Shii, mom’s calling for dinner!
-Dad, your are the BEST!
-Sshh!!!!
-What do we have today? Whoa! Long limbs roes!!
-Now Haikko! Easy son!
-Dad! Today Master said if I practice real hard, he will teach me the Raven’s fury next year!
-Raven’s fury? Next year? Impressive… I trained that after… two years after the hak’len ceremony I belive?
-That’s because you were always are a slacker, Anden my love… I learned it just before the ceremony.
-Me!? A slacker!?!?
-Well, dad! Anyway! Master said that if…
-Zzz... oh… ahem… Anden l-love? Is that you?
-Yes my love… don’t worry, go back to sleep…
-Aahoouumm… awake anyway… what hap… oh, love, milk?
-Yeah… the burning in the stomach again…
-Oh… I’m sorry to hear that love… come, come back to bed…
-Sheeeshh…
-Is that Ishukone deal, right?
-Yeah… 87,4% chance they outbid us by 10,6%... but if we lower 11% and then we turn to be wrong the margin is gone, and the informer is an outside contract so can’t quote him on internal memos and…
-Uhu… come here Mr. Stressed Engineer… you look sooooo tense…
-It’s ok, I’m ok…
-…and seems you need to relax a bit, hhmmm?
-Yeah… I could definitely use some relaxing….
-Oooooohh, do you? This Ishukone thing wouldn’t be some kind of trick to call my attention, hhmmm?
-Hey, Umi, you know that it’s n…
-Sshhhh… kidding you my love… have some good news for you…
-You do? Like?
-Seems the children are asleep…
-Ooooohhhh… Are they? He he… Oooh weeell… As I was telling you, this Ishukone deal has me veeery, veeery tense…