View source for Nope... the podding don’t hurts

[[Category:Player Created Fiction]]

=Preface=
''Nope... the podding don’t hurts'' is a piece of [[:Category:Player Created Fiction|Player Created Fiction]] written by [[Herko Kerghans (Character)|Herko Kerghans]] as one tale out of his series on Ships, Pods and Clones.  Originally published in the EVE-online forums [http://www.eveonline.com/ingameboard.asp?a=topic&threadID=186743].



=Nope... the podding don’t hurts=

Nope mate… nope… the podding don’t hurts. Not at all, nope! Trust me mate… ya’ll see when ya get podded yerself… he he, not that ya’ll have to wait too long kid, doncha worry!

Nay, the cloning don’t hurts either. It’s, like… yer swimming in yer pod, mkay? Yer swimming in yer pod, yer ship’s frickin’ gone, they got ya scrambled, ya say “oh crap”, ya feel a “thud”… and yer swimming in the clone vat, jus’ like that. Don’t hurts at all.

And it feels like… hum… let’s see, yer body’s the same, mkay? Ye look at yer hands… ye look in the mirror… and yep, it looks like you, a’ight? The same, same old ya… ‘cept of course is totally brand new! For you, for you everything around ya is frickin’ normal. Same as usual, ya see? But for yer body… for yer body everything is new! Everything brand new, got it? It’s like… humm… like a baby, like! You know how things should feel, mkay? But your body never felt ’em before, ‘cos it’s new, your body is new, and for yer new body everything is new.

Say, a whole frickin’ load of long limb roe, a’ight? Ya know how they taste like, because, like, ya have eaten them before, right? But! Yer new clone… yer new clone’s been grown in a frickin’ vat, right? Never eaten nuthin’! So for you, them long limb roe are something familiar, but for yer mouth, it’s the frickin’ first time!

Yesss… he he he… yeah!! Ya get to get frickin’ laid for the first time… again!! And the first time tis always the best, right? But this time… this time is better ‘cos ya know what yer friggin’ doin’, a’ight? Get it? Whoa! It’s like… WHOOAA!!

Amazing? Amazing don’t even begins, don’t even comes close to even frickin’ trying to frickin’ begins to describe it, mate! It’s like, everything ya taste, everything ya touch… everything ya feel… everything is so frickin’… crisp, ya get it? All brand new! But yer head knows howsa gonna be so it’s like, you are expecting to feel it, a’ight? So when you do feel it, and it’s so clean an’an’ so crisp an’an’ so frickin’ intense…. Hooooowwwweeee!!! Wow!! Damn!!

Course… got a yin for every yang, mkay? I mean… don’t go thinking to impress them ladies for coupla weeks, a’ight? I mean, yer like so… sensitive, yeah? A blowjob and weeeeeeehoow! yer in frickin’ heaven, a’ight? But ya ain’t gonna last longer than 30 secs, like…

Yeah, like yer frickin’ first time, like! Ha! Yeah, ya can chuckle all ya want and think yer gonna be different… he he… we’ll see kid, we’ll see…

Anyways! Like I was telling ya, when ya get in front of yer first meal, like, and say it is, say, some long limb roe, and they taste like frickin’ heaven, mkay? And yer stomach is, like, empty! First meal for ya! So ya can eat a frickin’ cow and still have room for whatever they throw yer way! But of course… here comes the yin of this other yang… it’s also yer first time for yer stomach, right? Yer whole frickin’ guts, they are, like, all knotted up! Never been used! Now… lemme tell ya, that hurts mate… feels yer damned bowels are being stirred with a frickin’ crow bar… ain’t funny lemme tell ya…

Yah… Tis the price of havin’ them guts, I guess…

No, eating little ain’t gonna help ya… tis even worse, ya see. Makes the whole damn thing last a whole damn longer. Yep, better eat a frickin’ cow or whatever ya like, until ya can eat no more, and then let nature take its course…

And… hum… well, anyways… the worst thing is, this is not the worst part, mkay? Because it is all brand new, a’ight? So it’s, like… yer very first dump, a’ight? Hoooly sssshhiit kid and I mean literally holy frickin’ sssshhiiiit mate! Worst thing ever… Like dumpin’ a whole frickin’ dreadnought, like!

Yeah… like a frickin’ virgin, like!

Me? I just scream, mate, I just do, me’n’everybody I know… yeah, toughest moffos in the galaxy an’a lil’ dump makes ’em cry like babies… Sheesh… Makes y’a helluva lot gentler with them ladies, lemme tell ya…

Guess it’s nature’s way of making sure we ain’t cheating on her, y’know? Kinda nature's way of saying: “Aahaahaa! Sooooo… ya wanna be reborn, ah? Ooook… rebirth this, clone boy!”

Yeah… like birth pains and all…

Anyways mate… relax! Take it easy. The podding don’t hurts.